In case you were as disappointed in me this last year as I was: Years before we bought a house in Utah my elderly Dad

In case you were as disappointed in me this last year as I was: Years before we bought a house in Utah my elderly Dad became 100% reliant on me for all aspects of his life - his care, health, finances. It was like my parent became my child, but a disabled child and with escalating mental and physical diseases. Until then my whole world was based on and around my real estate career. It was my passion, my income and my identity. When I came to Utah I lost almost all of that in the same month that I had to prioritize my Dad and getting him here so I could oversee every aspect of his life by myself. For the last 5 years I’ve been no more than half-in on anything because of the ticking-clock that is caring for someone in the 80s. Always weighing my love for him against my love for any aspect of my life and choosing him, knowing he would eventually leave me and that whenever it was, it would immediately feel too soon. On Monday Memorial Day my Dad, a veteran, lost his fight to live with cancer in his prostate, sacrum, lymph and lungs. I lost him almost a decade ago to Alzheimer’s. I haven’t been able to ask him a question or have him participate in a decision and that has been one of the hardest parts for me. When you lose your guide in life and become your guide’s guide. He has felt like a mirage, seeing what is my Dad and not being able to have it ever again. Now his frail body is gone too. I am sad and still spontaneously crying (even in public), I am angry and I am stressed but mostly I am nearly free. After all this time, I will be free of the calls, emails, letters, bills, documents, meetings, tests, decisions, reviews, consults and eventually tears. My Dad was amazing, my Dad is gone and one day soon all that energy will return to me and I will return to Real Estate like I love.